Monday, January 25, 2010

Why I Like It Longer. No, Seriously...

Let's see now...
I'm bored. I need something to amuse me, especially while I'm on the run, or in between classes. It would be nice to be able to surf the web. Or play some games. Maybe even watch a movie.

Then again, to do all that satisfactorily, I'd need a laptop computer, a game console, and a home theatre system. Sheesh. I'd also need a Hummer to carry all of it as I head to college.
Why not get a mobile phone that can do all that and more, you say? What's the point? Their screens are so tiny. I'd have to squint, and possibly go blind. Nah, no thanks. I'd never get a phone to do all that unless it's widescreen, high-def, yaddayadda... in summary, not possible.

I'm hungry. Say, isn't that a chocolate bar you have there? There, that shiny black-coloured 128 by 55mm rectangular block that weighs 129 grams you have there, in your jeans pocket- how did I know it's dimensions? Oh, it's just a thing I do... more importantly, SHARE. I'm starving. -GRAB-

-Bite- Oww! Hey, this isn't a chocolate bar! It's a phone! Or is it? No, that can't be, I don't even see a keypad... touchscreen, I suppose? Nah. Like I said, there isn't a phone on the market which has such a wide screen... in fact, this one's has a most remarkable 21:9 aspect ratio. Hmm. Perfect for watching my high definition movies on the go. If it was a phone, that is. I already have enough to carry with me as it is.

-Gasp- It's ringing! Well I'll be! It's a mobile phone! How could I have not noticed? What's it called? The LG Chocolate BL40? Haha! No wonder I mistook it for a bar of processed cocoa! Why, look at all its features...
Ahem. It looks like I got carried away. This post is for a contest by Nuffnang, entitled "Win an LG Chocolate Phone Just Because You Like It Longer". Bah. What am I doing? I'm not supposed to be writing a review. Here's the email I received from Nuffnang:
Hey Nuffnangers,

Do you like it Longer, sexier, sleeker? What were you thinking about? We were talking about the new latest LG Chocolate BL40 phone (BL40). Nuffnang is having a contest for glitterati Nuffnangers to win an LG Chocolate phone. All you have to do is write a creative post about ‘Why I Like It Longer’ and place it on your blog, and you might just be one of the Top 3 winners who will win a brand new LG Chocolate BL40 phone worth RM2,199! Details of this contest are available on

So get your creative juices flowing!! And send your completed blog entry permalink to imadethisupsoyou@wontspamnuffnang by 14th of February.


Blogger Relations Department

Nuffnang Sdn Bhd

Oh blast. I sure got carried away, didn’t I? I’m not supposed to be writing a review! Creativity is the key here, dim-bulb! I’m supposed to tell you why ‘I like it longer’, not regale you with the technical aspects of the phone- if Nuffnang wanted to know all that, they might as well give the 3 phones to whoever wrote the review of the phone on the LG website. Silly me. So, how should I go about this?

To get my ‘creative juices flowing’, as they say- hey! That’s an insult- mine is always flowing. Are you implying that my brain cells are stagnant? How could you! Oh wait- that's just a generalization, you say? Fine, I'll forgive you... for now. How about you just call off the contest and give me the phone? I promise I'll make good use of it and sing your praise for a week or two -irresistible puppy dog eyes- No? Ceh.

Maybe I could steal someone else's idea. I'm a busy person, after all... I don't have the time and energy to conjure up Golden Globe winnable screenplay for this contest. Oh, devious indeed! After all, you've made it easy for me to do so, with all the links to fellow contestants posts listed for all to see... hehe. The first post I chanced upon was rather impressive- a full-fledged review of the prize, complete with pictures accompanying each described feature. Fuh. Maybe I should do the same?

Looking back, that post must have somewhat influenced me in the composing of my own entry. In the beginning, at least. Luckily for me, I spotted my mistake -insert insane laughter- while many others did not. That's right, quite a few other contestants did the same! Rest in peace, amigos, while I move up the ladder in terms of my chances of winning. One step closer to the holy grail!

After that, I found a few posts that made use of the words 'longer, sexier, sleeker'- by compiling quotes, images, and facts relating to the three adjectives. Should I do the same, I wondered? I quickly decided against it. If so many people were doing the same thing, how could the judges hope to find any of them interesting after a while? On the other hand, I might actually be trying to find excuses so as not to have to use  this idea. I'm too lazy to think of anything substantially shocking enough. Oh well. Moving on!

Ahh... eye candy. A lovely lass actually took a photo of herself, posing on a flight of stairs, or somewhere similar, showing off her long, smooth legs, and added a picture of the Chocolate phone into it. Sneaky! Now this is something worth plagiarizing, I thought. How should I go about it? Steal her idea, show off my own legs? Eh, hold on. First I'd have to shave... maybe get a wax... oh crud, my skin's dry, now where did I put my moisturizer... ahem. Maybe I should just steal her photo and photoshop my face over hers. Then again, that's a little too obvious... I'd better not. Sigh.

Forget all that. I suppose I'll just have to be original. Why not make a video? Hey, that would be fantastic! Add some music, fancy special effects, reality-defying Bollywood style dance scenes, grand scenery comparable to that of James Cameron's Avatar... heck, it'll be so awe-inspiring that LG would want to pay me for the rights to bundle it with their products. The only problem is... I don't have the time. There's no way that I could possibly come up with such a stupendous masterpiece before the deadline. Maybe I should just paint the phone onto my body and take a video of myself running around town. On second thought, I'd rather not.

Blast! I've shot myself in the foot, haven't I? Someone's sure to steal my bodypaint-video idea and win the prize. Jeez. I never thought this would be so hard. Maybe I should just save myself the trouble and type out an insanely long post. After all, it's what I do best- to somehow be long-winded and yet remain rather amusing (I should certainly hope so). I've written long letters for no reason in the past, so why not write a long post for a worthwhile cause? To win a phone? Yeah, why not? Let's get started, then... Hold on, I hear some shouting out back. What's that? You're saying that this post is already long enough as it is? 1209 words is more than enough? The judges will see it's length and faint from despair? What in blazes are you talking about? Alright, alright, you don't have to shout! I'll do a word count...

Oh. Well well. I suppose I'd better end this here, then, haven't I? I'll be waiting for your email of congratulations, Nuffnang!

P.s. I did not draw that image. Just in case you guys decided based on that alone, heh:)
Edit: Good thing I reread the rules:P Gotta post this photo at the end of the post!
P.s.s I lost the 2nd photo while updating. Oh well it's been some time (and I didn't win), so who cares?


  1. That is a long, sexy phone.
    And a long, sexy post (I thought it was amusing!).
    Good luck winning that sleek, sexy beast.

  2. @Kris: Muchas gracias! Thanks for the encouragement, hopefully the judges think the same:)

  3. so detail and very information..

    see my post also..hehe

  4. @A20-man: Hmm, interesting. Actually, I've thought about the iPhone recently, but don't really use my dino-phone much anyway. How does the Chocolate compare to the iPhone?

  5. @Jay: Uh, I don't really know. I guess the Choc's main selling point is the 21:9 screen. As for the iPhone, it's probably a status thing amongst most people ('lookie me, I have an iPhone, aren't I cool?'), while the more tech-inclined people have a more valid excuse (meddling around with the OS, creating apps).