Friday, June 21, 2013

Star Trek's missing boobs, Olympus without Titans, and a spot of matrimonial simulation

Movie review time. Well, two movies, and some pointless stuff that should really go into my diary but won't, because my hand is too lazy to write (isn't it awesome how I'm blaming my hand as if it's the decision maker here) and in the first place I don't really have much to write about either movie. Ahem. Moving on.

First up, as should be obvious from the photo above, Star Trek Into Darkness, a sequel to another Star Trek which coincidentally, I didn't bother watching. Die-hard Trekkie fans have a thing for the Starship Enterprise and the bromance between the sometimes irritatingly by the book Spock and Kirk the Jock, and Into Darkness focuses on the beginnings of that relationship.

As the story goes- well let's skip that for now. The key ingredients for a story are all there, a blossoming friendship  by organizational rules, betrayal, a blurring of the lines between good and bad. To top it off, the thrill of seeing a big spaceship flying through space.

Well then. What broke this ship? I don't really remember, to tell the truth. Was it the characters? Spock was likable enough in the sense that he was unbelievably Spockish. The villain Khan (pic above) was superb simply due to him being player by Benedict Cumberbatch from BBC's Sherlock. Kirk, on the other hand, was dull, which doesn't help much, what with him being the main character. There's nothing much to be said about the other characters.

What else then? Most of the show was composed of explosions interspersed by brief dialogue, most of which failed to engage my attention. Random chatter. Something goes boom. Boring chatter. Boom again. Some more chatter. Boom again. Oh look, they're chattering again. That means something's going to go boom, right? Here's the major dilemma: since cinemas have no intermissions unlike in theatre, you have to make a major choice. When nature calls, do you choose to go during the booming or the chattering?

 This film might have held on to my attention more if it had included some titillation. Wait, apparently it did:
Funny how I didn't notice this scene. Did the Film Censorship Board cut it out? That's a laughable notion if it's true, really, since there's nothing much to see here other than a set of really ugly underwear. I wonder if it's sweat absorbent. On the other hand, it's entirely possible that I simply wasn't paying much attention and just didn't notice the giant 3D IMAX partially undressed and mildly attractive woman parading on screen in ugly lingerie. Hmm. You know what- let's just forget about Trek and move on.

Now for the aforementioned bit that should really be in my diary and not here. Today I (technically) abused work data by inviting a girl who we'd introduced to one of our client's out for lunch with some other friends. She'd posted on an expat forum asking for new friends to lunch with- this was discovered by a colleague at work, and upon it being shown to me, I openly declared my intention to sign up I wonder how seriously they took that statement. Long story short, I now have one more contact in my address book. No more personal tidbits for you, though I suspect that most people would have skipped this paragraph.

Oh, well, maybe just one. I drove her car on that day- an automatic Toyota Varis. Shocked that it moves by itself on neutral mode. For a moment euphoria overcame me and I felt like I could do anything. Then I had trouble reducing speed. Manual is still best for me, after all.
Up next, Olympus has Fallen. This one is a typical action movie following in the Independence Day tradition of blowing up the White House- this time though, some of it survives to be rebuilt. Olympus is code for the White House- whether that's a real world fact is up for debate. I could probably have picked a better photo for this film, but this one was just too funny.

There was some nice drama in the beginning- showing the president and his family preparing for a party, before tragedy struck. I was hoping for something radical to spring forth from this- perhaps the Prez going bonkers after the event, and doing something politically mad- like banning bridges, and driving during snowstorms, for example.

I was also sorely disappointed that this did not take place (mild spoiler): Morgan Freeman (Speaker of the House), after having his all too true opinion pushed aside, smarts from his dismissal, plans the attack on the White House in order to seize control... nope. He turns out to be a pretty nice guy who is fussy about his coffee. Oh well.

To wrap things up: As an action movie, Olympus is pretty good- never mind the title which momentarily tricked me into thinking it had something to do with John Keats' Hyperion- just don't expect more from it.

Back in reality- today was supposed to be a double date (i.e. me and two ladies), but I had to settle for one. Somehow we ended up walking through a department store pretending to be a married couple, discussing the finer points of home appliances and putting off buying wedding rings due to a lack of funds- a lot more fun than watching someone's house getting blown up, I have to say. Here's to you, my fake matrimonial partner for the day.

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